A newly-single dad asked the Reddit community for their thoughts on whether or not he was wrong for taking his daughter to daycare early so the teacher could do her curly hair. The post quickly received a large number of comments, with mixed feelings from Reddit users.
The father shares that he takes care of his 3-year-old daughter every other week. And with his ex-wife no longer around to manage his daughter’s hair, caring for his daughter’s curly hair is a new responsibility for him.
Now, he has to figure out how to maintain the appearance of his daughter’s hair, which he referred to as “a frizzy, tangled mess.”
He says that his daughter’s daycare teacher has hair similar to his daughter’s and thus, he sought her assistance, to which she agreed to style the hair in the morning if he arrived earlier.
The drop-off time starts at 8, but the teacher agreed to take care of his daughter’s hair before class starts if he arrived by 8:20 instead of the usual 8:45 drop-off time. She even provided him with a list of recommended curly hair products and tips on how to care for it at home.
Apparently, the daughter told her mother that she goes to daycare earlier now and that her teacher, not her father, is styling her hair.
So his ex called him and asked if he really drops his daughter off early every morning to “avoid doing her hair.” She also accused him of being a bad parent for “relying on a teacher” to do his job and for disrupting the morning routine they previously had together with their daughter.
Before divorcing, the parents would wake up, give their daughter a bath, with the father attempting to do her hair, have breakfast, and then go to school. But now, the father and daughter wake up, take a bath, and eat breakfast in the car so they can arrive early enough for the teacher to do her hair.
And while the father believed he was doing the right thing by ensuring his daughter’s hair was well taken care of during his weeks, his ex-partner has strong feelings about it.
The Reddit community had differing opinions on the father’s actions, each with a solid justification for their judgment.
Many Reddit users supported the father but advised that relying on the teacher to style his daughter’s hair isn’t sustainable, as future teachers may not be willing to do so. They suggested compensating the teacher for her time.
“NTA. If the teacher doesn’t mind doing it — which, by the way, is very generous of her and you should get her a very nice gift for her trouble — then I don’t see why it’s an issue. But it might be more sustainable for you to ask the teacher to train you to do your daughter’s hair, because it is unlikely that future teachers will want to do this, and what will you do then? (You should compensate the teacher for her time if you do this,” one user wrote.
On the other hand, some point out that the dad needs to step up and fulfill his role as a parent rather than relying on others.
“YTA. You should have been involved in doing her hair while still with her mother to begin with. Learn to do your kid’s hair and stop relying on women to do your job as a parent,” one commented.
In an update from the OP, he mentioned that he’s still figuring out how to do his daughter’s hair, but it’s in better shape now. The teacher appears to take pleasure in doing hair, not just for the daughter but for other kids too.
He added that his ex was unwilling to teach him how to do her hair while they were married and showed no willingness in teaching him even after the divorce.
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