A recent viral thread on Reddit asked an important question: what is harassment, according to men, that most women do not realize? Here are some of the most interesting answers, and you are welcome to add yours!
Among the most popular answers was this man’s statement: “As a guy, just because I have long hair doesn’t mean you can walk up to me and run your hands through it when I don’t even know you.”
Taking someone’s clothes without permission
Another guy described how “women once tried to take off some of my clothes in a club.” When he refused, they got angry.
What’s under the kilt?
A Scottish Reddit user wrote, “Every wedding and funeral I have ever been to as a Scotsman, there are a gaggle of horny grannies who at every opportunity try to get a look under the kilt.”
Men put up with harassment out of fear
A person described their partner’s experience. The man had a job interview, and the interviewer was an older woman. She kept touching him, but “he didn’t want to make a scene because she might accuse him of harassment in retaliation, and she had his information.” The poster concluded, “Men put up with harassment out of fear too.”
Grabbing a guy is not cool
A guy who has been lifting weights his whole life wrote, “Women think that they can just grab on my arms and rub my chest without permission or warning.” The person added their fiancée never took him seriously until a party where “female coworkers basically groped my arms in front of her.”
HR does not take men seriously
Another Redditor described how a female coworker harassed him. She would slap his behind and go even further. He went to HR, but after talking to both, they concluded he “verbally abused her.”
Harassed by a girlfriend’s friend
A person wrote how their friend kept slapping her boyfriend behind. They added: “I even talked to her about how it was inappropriate and made us both uncomfortable, but she didn’t stop.”
Not all guys are after one thing
Another was upset about how women believed all guys wanted was one thing. If they are not interested, they get labeled and mocked.
Women acting like predators
This Redditor gave several instances when women crossed the line, like inappropriately touching a “passed out man” or “telling you to take your shirt off, especially when it’s the first time they’ve met you.”
No means no
A guy said that “touching me, or “flirting” after I’ve said “no” or words to that effect” is what women fail to see as harassment.
The “If I were younger” comments
A married Reddit poster shared how a 55 yr old woman told him, “I was exactly the type of guy she would have been all over when she was my age, but maybe she can settle for me meeting her daughter.” And yes, she knew that he had a wife.
Consent knows no gender
This Reddit poster hates touching without consent. He said, “For some reason, they clearly understand a man touching a woman is harassment, but they don’t understand a woman touching a man is the exact same thing.”
Many women are either oblivious or brazen in their harassment
Before giving a real-life example, a poster wrote, “A lot of women are either oblivious or brazen in their harassment.” He then said he was in Vegas with his buddies, and a woman came on to him. She told him, “I am on birth control, so whoever comes with me can *** in me all they want.” When he informed her he was married, she laughed.
No questions, just orders
A guy who was security at weddings wrote that he was “groped, pawed, and propositioned both covertly and overtly.” His favorite story involves a 40-something woman telling him where to meet her for a party of three.
Men are not always ready and willing
As a guy pointed out, one of many problems starts with “sitting on your lap without asking.” It is a “symptom” of the “assumption that men are always horny and always” want to go to bed.
Do people care if men are the victims?
A woman said that the topic was eye-opening. She was appalled and asked men if “corporations even have mandatory sexual harassment training anymore?” The answers were discouraging, as one guy wrote how most women do not think about their behavior, and another said, “No one gives a damn about how much men suffer.”
Pushy women are less attractive
Many guys agree that attitude and energy are significant factors in attractiveness. They also agreed that women who can’t take no and even say, “I can’t handle a woman like them,” are instantly less attractive.
Even boys are exposed to this unsolicited behavior
A guy described how he used to do competitive swimming during his middle and high school days. The coaches choose speedos, and “Cat calls from the moms in the stands during the competitions had the announcers hush them repeatedly.”
One guy mentioned something that most women never happen to men – unsolicited photos sans clothing. The poster wrote, “They can treat us and even make us feel like a piece of meat without even feeling that it’s invasive or harassing.”
Same rules for everyone
Another woman entered the subreddit and commented, “I feel like everyone should read this thread and understand that harassment does not only go in one direction.” She added that regardless of your gender, this “behavior is neither normal nor acceptable.”
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