A transgender woman is a lesbian, and some members of the LGBTQ community who said “no” to dating her were labeled as “transphobic,” but were they?
Some gay men refuse to date transmen
A 2018 study concluded that about 12% of gay men, 29% of lesbians, and 48% of bisexual/queer/non-binary people say they would date a transgender love interest.
Two arguments
Some argue it all goes down to genitalia, but that is too simplified, others asserted. Being openly gay or lesbian is already stigmatized worldwide, so dating a transgender person could make things even worse for many.
Lesbian women are under pressure
BBC wrote about lesbians who feel pressured to date trans women. One of the questions the publication asked was, “Is a lesbian transphobic if she does not want to have sex with trans women?”
The female issue
Among those who spoke up, some lesbians claimed they were all but forced to date trans women or they would get “shunned and even threatened for speaking out.”
It became the norm
A popular dating app for lesbians wrote, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” This message was for transphobes, and it came with an explanation, “All lesbians are welcome and celebrated on HER — trans lesbians, nonbinary lesbians.” The famous app HER posted this message on Twitter, and due to a heated exchange, the account was banned for 24 hours.
The LGBTQ community sticks together, but…
A 24-year-old lesbian shared with BBC what happened when she refused to be romanticly involved with a transgender woman. She said, “They said they would strangle me with a belt if they were in a room with me and Hitler. That was so bizarrely violent, just because I won’t have sex with trans women.” The pressure comes from a small group of transgender women and activists, who are often not even part of the community.
Twitter users had their say
A controversial account, Libs of TikTok, posted a video of an allegedly trans woman with a beard and a provocative caption, “This is a lesbian woman. We’re expected to respect and accept HER identity and use HER preferred pronouns, or we’re labeled a bigot.”
The big picture
Respecting someone’s pronouns seems minor compared to being romanticly involved with someone.
People were confused
One person wrote, “My guess is that is not a lesbian woman, that’s a man that can’t get close to a woman any other way, so he’s using the excuse. No, I will not recognize “it’s” labeling feel free to call me whatever worn out re interpreted name you want.” Another wondered, “But ‘she’ can make her pregnant..”
Some joked
Someone joked, “I am a lesbian transwoman in a loving relationship with a cisgender woman. We call that a traditional heterosexual marriage.” But there’s more.
“Bonus hole”
In 2020, Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, in partnership with an LGBTQ+ charity, started suggesting the term “bonus hole” be used to support trans men and nonbinary people.
Front hole
They also suggested the phrase “front hole.” As one person wrote, “Everyone sure is worried about offending trans people but don’t give a bonus hole about offending women, do they?”
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Source: Twitter