How to catch a CHEATER: 30 obvious signs most people ignore

Cheating means breaking the boundaries of your relationship, so it is not black and white and can be both emotional and physical. Many people feel cheated but have no proof, so you must become a detective while keeping your relationship unchanged.

To improve your skills and catch the potential cheater, here are 30 signs that most people miss.

Love bombing

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Cheaters are so occupied with not getting caught that they send mixed signals. Love bombing is a manipulation technique that involves praises and gifts, but all on a superficial level and only to ensure you won’t notice other changes.

Sudden changes in the schedule

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In long-term relationships, people know how their partner lives. So if they suddenly have more work trips or work late hours, something is off. The cheater will almost always say they do not want to, but they must work more or settle a friend’s emergency. And due to all the urgency, they cannot answer their phones…

Asking why can’t you be something else

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If a partner makes remakes like, “Why can’t you be more adventurous,” or “Why are you so serious all the time,” it can be hurtful and signs of bigger troubles. The cheater signals you you are not enough because they feel guilty. They refuse to deal with it, so it is easier to assure themselves that you are the problem.

Anxiety over a phone

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If they jump every time their phone buzzes, or they do not leave the phone even when they are going to shower, something is not right.

Playing hot and cold

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The cheater might switch their behavior between overly affective and indifferent. These changes signify they are not ready to let you go, but they also have a secret that might end things.

Throwing accusations

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Your parent’s accusations of jealousy whenever you ask about someone or some event is gaslighting. They know they are guilty, so they manipulate you into self-doubt and confusion. Ask yourself how they treated you in similar situations before you suspected something was off.

Money issues

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Infidelity is not without its price. That’s because cheaters buy gifts and pay for extra meals, hotels, and a new wardrobe, lingerie, or beauty items. A cheating partner might have unusual activities on credit cards or might even start asking you about your mutual spending habits.

Acting possessive

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Just because they have a lover, it does not mean they want to be cheated on. Cheaters will act like you are their property because they believe this behavior will not make you suspicious. Since they cannot give you all the attention you deserve, they turn to toxic possessiveness.

Wanting to know your every move

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A cheater wants to know your every move so that they can plan accordingly. If you accuse them of asking too many questions, they might get defensive or even accuse you of hiding something.

Improved style and grooming habits

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When someone enters a new relationship, they want to look their best. From new lingerie and makeup to perfectly fitted suits and working on those abs, these changes usually mean someone new is occupying your partner’s attention.

Friends acting differently

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If your partner’s friends treat you differently, they know something is off. A cheater usually confides in at least one close friend; if that friend is distant and secretive, they know you are being cheated on.

Libido changes

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Changes in libido are troubling signs in every relationship. With cheaters, it is overcompensating or losing their interest over an extended period. Some cheaters want to prove their love more, others not at all.

Highly agitated

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Living a double life is exhausting. That’s why cheaters are easily agitated and want to start an argument. They also want you to feel guilty since it gives them more room to continue cheating.

Holes in their stories

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Cheaters cannot keep up with all their lies. That’s why they will slip up, and if you are unsure if you should react, wait until they slip up again.

Turning defense into offense

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Even innocent questions can trigger an unfaithful partner. Asking them, Where were you,” is a sign of curiosity. But, a cheating mind will suspect you are onto them, and they’ll start questioning you and accuse you of suffocating them.

Encouraging you to get out more

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If they are sneaky, instead of complaining you are clingy, they will tell you to call your best friends and have a night out. It makes them look good, and they will use your night out the next time they want to step out of the relationship.

Breakup talks

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Cheaters will mention the breakup casually since they want to know where you stand and if you suspect something. They will not mention it once, but it will become a new norm in every disagreement.

Less or no talks about the future

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All your plans will be put on pause. If you mention them, the cheater might start making up stuff like, “We will talk more,” or “The work now is crazy.” Do not fall for that.

Indifference

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Indifference is a feeling, the opposite of love. If your partner is the same as everyone else, but you feel a lack of affection, it might be a red flag for the relationship.

Hard to reach

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Your responsible and reliable partner might be hard to reach suddenly. They are always in meetings or working to save the planet. You will hear, “My battery died,” or “I left my phone in the car.”

Skipping preplanned activities

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Cheaters will cancel preplanned activities at the last minute. Their excuse will likely involve work or helping their friend with something urgent. But they will insist you go and have fun with your friend because they are that generous.

Lack of intimacy

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Even if their libido is high, intimacy is not there. Things feel technical, and your loving partner might feel like they are a million miles away.

Pushing you away

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While trying to remove the sense of guilt, the cheating partner might push you away. Their hostility, defense strategies, and indifference could be shadier than their lies.

People around you giving you hints

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If your family and friends notice that things are not as they were, it indicates that your relationship has changed for the worse. It is not unusual for other, close people to notice a change in pattern in your partner’s behavior.

A new person in your partner’s life

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If you suspect your partner’s fidelity, try listening to them talk about others around them. People reveal their crushes quickly, so if they are overly excited about that new person, consider that a red flag.

New interests and hobbies

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New hobbies or interests while in the middle of one crisis after another is a sign that something is off. On the one hand, your partner is suddenly super busy. On the other, they discover a new passion for certain music they never cared for or are eager to learn about soccer. Not the best combination!

Even a laptop is off limits

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While phones are most likely to giveaway that the partner is cheating, not many consider that evidence might be on a laptop. If there is an email, there are bank statements and emails from dating websites. But if your partner is paranoid about their tech gadgets, they are hiding something.

Showering habits

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Most people shower in the morning or the evening and after a workout. People have patterns, and they do not change overnight. If someone is eager to jump into the shower right after a business meeting, consider that to be a significant red flag that they might be doing more than work talk.

Accusing you of cheating

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The best way to throw you off their track, and sulk, is to accuse you of cheating. It gives them time to “cool off” or “think things through,” which they need to meet up with their lover. And you cannot ask anything because they are already “worried,” and you made them feel like something was off.

The gut feeling

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If the person you love is experiencing some of these signs, and your insect brought you here, that might be all you need to know that your partner has someone on the side. Don’t dismiss that gut feeling if something is not adding up.

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