Not everyone is quick on their feet, especially if something you cherish is under attack. Not having a good comeback could haunt you for days, even months. But do not worry, once you go through these perfect clap backs, choose your favorites, memorize them, and you will always be ready to shut down the opponent. We picked the 17 best comebacks from a viral Reddit thread called “What is the best comeback that works against all insults?”.
The simple clap back that works like a charm
One Reddit user shared advice from their mom. They said that every time someone insulted the mom, she would shrug it off and say, “everybody’s gotta be something.” It is effective, simple, and you come out looking like a bigger person. The message behind this comeback is just as straightforward: you do not care about that person’s opinions.
When they go low, you go high-low
Another comeback that works in all situations shows attitude. Simply say, “I’ve been called worse.” Then, as a Reddit user wrote, add, “By better people.” Your message is clear: you do not think much of this person, and their opinion is below any value. Make sure to add a touch of smugness to your perfect comeback.
The sarcastic comeback
If someone insults or argues with you, you can state, “I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.” It is a funny, sarcastic comment that shows you have character and can find a humorous way to disrespect a person without name-calling or shouting.
Make them paranoid
One Reddit user got over 33k upvotes for a classic comeback. It read, “Well, I guess what everyone says about you is true.” They claim they learned this from their father, adding, “The typical bully type will generally go crazy thinking everyone talks about them behind their back.”
Answer with a question
One Reddit poster in this viral thread wrote, “Earnestly ask them if they are ok.” Another explained that this comeback saying it could go two ways. Either the other person could go even angrier, or they would be left speechless. The third person shared their version of this comeback, “What is wrong with you?” so take your pick!
Delicious comeback
A woman in a man’s world posted on Reddit how she deals with “huge egos.” Her highlighted comment said, “It sounds like you’re getting a little emotional about this; do you want to call me back when you’ve calmed down so we can get this done?” Then, she would make a “delicious pause,” either hang up or “launch into the most high-pitched screeching you’ve ever heard.”
The no-reaction reaction
Depending on who you are dealing with, the best response can be an absence of a response. One Reddit user shared, “Okay, cool, and aight bet are top 3.” adding that even thumps-up is a good clap back. Another added, “people who insult want a reaction, don’t give it to them.”
The not-so-pleasant image
A Reddit user got thousands of upvotes for their favorite comeback, “Your mother should have eaten you while your bones were still soft.” Now, if you think that is nasty, another added, “Your mother should have eaten you while your bones were still soft.” It does not get more savage than that without throwing nasty words.
Emotionally charged clap back
As one Reddit user wrote, “I envy the people that don’t know you,” another added their version, “Every time you talk, it makes me envy deaf people.” These are great comebacks for people you meet outside your workplace, and their efficiency is guaranteed. It had to be said in a clear and calm way, so the other person registered just how little you think of them.
Talk to them like they are five
If someone is questioning your choices but showing no respect for boundaries, tell them, “I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.” This indicates that you find them as emotionally intelligent as a five-year-old, which is powerful enough to stop their thought process.
Make a reference to nature
To create a perfect comeback, you need to paint a picture. One Reddit user did just that by stating, “Somewhere out there, there’s a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. I think you should go and apologize to it.” It is clever, engaging, and just a really good way to make the person shut their mouth.
The well-thought-out comeback
A person shared a great comeback for ending all arguments with people who cannot stay out of your business or are being bullies for no reason. It said, “Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.” It shows that you are an understanding person, but they are beyond help.
Hit them where it hurts
This one will work best if you are a female in a disagreement with another female. It simply says, “You are the human version of period cramps.” It is not insulting, yet is there anything more annoying than period cramps? No, and that’s why this comeback works like a charm.
For those who just do not know when to shut up
If you are struggling with a person dealing with verbal diarrhea, here is something that might shut them up. Calmly say, “It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.” It will definitely make them think, and maybe they will snarky answer, “Oh, you are so clever,” but then it is time for the “OK,” and just like that, you won.
Point out the obvious
A classic comeback was received quite well among Reddit posters. Someone wrote,” Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man,” and people shared how they used this sentence at work and in private life. It works because it points out the obvious – people can have different opinions.
Laugh out loud
Sometimes, you do not have to use words. You can start chuckling until you burst into full laugh-out-loud laughter. As one Reddit user said, even Mark Twain knew the power of laughter, “Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”
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